3rd grade reenactment

today was the May Day performance in anth's elementary school.
for the second year in a row, bern and i were not able to attend due to work. 
anth was nonplussed. 

over dessert tonight, we asked him how it went. 
eventually, i asked him to sing his song for me. 
it was "Shoo Fly, Don't Bother Me!" 
which, of course, i remembered from childhood and immediately started singing. 
anth immediately told me i was getting it all wrong. 
nothing like a little instant feedback. 

anyway. 
this eventually resulted in anthony teaching all of us how to sing the song. 
this included much hand drumming on the kitchen table. 
somehow, this evolved into him yelling, "alright everyone, i'm going to line you up!"
anth then moved the lesson to the living room floor and patiently went through each step of the choreography to teach us all the parts of the kids around him. 
his instructions included phrases such as, "then mom and i will sashay this way through the tunnel."
(yes, at this point, bern and benny were holding their arms in the air to form a rather low arch.)
anth maintained the slightly annoyed patience of a choreographer working with incompetents. 
but he kept at it, and, eventually, bernie and i not only saw the performance, but we saw it through his eyes. 
it was pretty wholesome. 
(this went on until benny ran away shouting, "now i have to pee!")

it was a perfect little moment at the end of a long day. 
amidst the chaos of this year, these are the moments when i tell my hyper little brain to stop planning and just live. 
because these beautiful little boys are only getting bigger. 
and i'm guessing there will be a time that dancing in the living room with mom won't be at the top of their agenda. 

some days are better than others. . .

for those who followed some of my facebook sentiments today, sorry. 
there will be some repeats here. 
but today was fun enough to bring me back to my long-neglected blog. 

one of the honors of serving as the chair of the University Staff Advisory Committee is to represent staff on stage at commencements throughout the year. 
last summer, our commencement speaker was Cheryl of Cheryl's Cookies.  
in the fall it was Jack Hanna. 
this involved some penguins. 
and a cheetah. 
that entered the stage near me. 

VERY near me. 
that was all very exciting. 
but today?
takes the cake. 
our commencement speaker was President Obama. 
my friend Emily offered to trade me her bowl game to go to today's commencement. 
i declined. 

earlier this week, i received an email saying that, due to where i was parking, my car would be searched  by the U.S. Secret Service. 
i cleaned out my hot mess of a trunk to make this more pleasant for everyone. 

here is my very-"covert"-and-thus-not-really-a-picture-of-anything picture of this process. 
it involved wands. 
and a dog. 
and me being so temporarily nervous about the whole thing that i forgot where the release to my hood was located. 
all of this played out to the sweet sounds of the musical Next To Normal. 
(which my life tends to be.)
i'm pretty sure the men screening my car were singing along. 
(for those with low sarcasm radar - not really.)

we were asked to arrive at 9am for a noon ceremony, so i ended up engaged in a lovely game of Euchre with some of the other members of the platform group. 

which may or may not have ended in my team singing a rendition of "Landslide."

ahem. . .

then it was time to line up for the processional. 

this was when President Obama joined our group.

that tiny speck of a head at the front of the line is him. 

i promise. 

 

when we got onto stage, i was two rows away from him. 
amazing.

here is the really cool part. 
sadly, i don't have an actual photo of it. 
as the person representing staff on stage, i had the opportunity to stand up and be announced by President Gee. 
this, in and of itself, is pretty darn amazing. 
but. 
here is where it gets good. 
President Obama turned around and looked at me while it was announced. 
nodded his head. 
and WINKED. 

this may not seem significant. 
but, as a lifelong winker, this was a big deal. 
people who have worked with me at Old Navy, in Baker West, and in University Housing at OSU have all commented on this fact over the years. 
i use the wink as a way to acknowledge someone in a setting where i can't actually use words. 
so, wink-resistant friends, today i feel validated. 
officially. 
;)

while i did not get a picture of this moment. . .because even i'm not that awkward. . . the faculty member sitting next to me did get a picture of President Obama turning around and applauding. 
yes, i have already emailed Dr. Lee to see if he will share that photo. 
because, apparently, that level of awkwardness is perfect for me. 

anyway.
we had a little extra security. 

President Obama addressing the class of 2013. 
Go Bucks!

usually i see football here. 
i understood what was going on on the jumbo tron much better than usual today. 

also present today was annie leibovitz. 
here she is receiving an honorary degree. 

i was in heaven. 

 President Gee conferring President Obama with his honorary degree. 

and Buckeye baseball cap.
which always looks sharp with a hood. 

at this point, President Obama left the rest of the ceremony in the university leadership's capable hands. 

so. 

yep. 

perhaps my most festive Cinco de Mayo yet. 

congrats to all the students who were honored in today's ceremony! 

why this mom quit worrying about "quitting"

(update: bern and i have been working on some major work and home projects as of late. expect me to continue to be a not-so-stellar blogger for another month or two. you can pester me if i'm still absent as of July 1.)

(update 2: benny turned 5 in march. i have some cute pictures of his party. he picked Chuck E. Cheese.)

(update 3: anth turned 8 last week. holy moly. where did the time go? also? where did the pictures go? not on the blog, that's for sure. i'll work on that. on July 2nd, apparently)

(update 4: for anth's birthday? he wants to go the the Carnegie. as in the museum. in pittsburgh. he hears they have great dinosaurs. bless his 80-year-old heart.)

back to our original program. . .

fun fact.
pretty much every time i post a video on the blog, 82% of you can't actually see it.
it's in QuickTime.
that is all i know.

anyway.
anthony loves playing baseball, and is back in practice as of last week.
i'll be sure to not blog about that over the coming months.
after last year's summer Olympics, benny asked us if he could do gymnastics.
so, last fall, we enrolled him in his first class.
it was basically stretching, somersaults, and learning how to use a springboard.
he took this class twice.
when i went to enroll him in the march-may session, the gym suggested i put him in the all-boy ages 5-6 class.
he. was. thrilled.
(he had 3 boys in his first class, and was the only one in his second.)

this seemed like a great idea.
at the time.
what i did not know then was that he would be using equipment he can't actually get on without assistance.
here is some footage...
Video 1:

Video 2: 

in case the videos don't work, here are a few lovely photos a la my phone.

 in which benny can touch the parallel bars, when standing on a springboard, on his tip toes.
(that's about it.)



in which benny is not actually doing gymnastics.

but, instead, having a discussion with his coach.

who is asking him to focus.

and do some gymnastics.

in which benny is most definitely not doing gymnastics.

suffice it to say, his career as an elite gymnast is not working out.

so far.

in fact, most sessions are quickly coming to points of frustration.

for both him and his coach.

last week, benny told us that he wants to "quit gymnastics."

this has led to some interesting conversations for mom and dad.

we both kind of bristle at the word "quit."

but, in the end, we both also agree that this experience is no longer bringing our sweet little bundle of non-stop-energy anything close to joy.

parenting is a funny thing. 

you never really know what is going to trip you up along the way. 

only that something inevitably will. 

in the end, there are three classes left in his session.

we are not going to make him go.

there will be plenty of other opportunities to teach him not to "quit."

but i would rather save them for times when things are "too hard," or "not going my way," or whatever other reason might get in the way. 

i would much rather teach our little man to also listen to his heart.  

if i am going to heed the advice of my (far too many) office doodads, perhaps this is a chance to let him learn it is important to:

side note: i am fairly certain that my RA from UC Irvine gave me this eeyore/tigger.
her name is Jenn Aaron.
but she will always be "my RA" to me.

benny has recently informed us that he wants to "be a baseball player like Anth when i am 6."

this weekend, bern took him to get his own glove, and then the boys headed off to the park together.

bern sent me this picture while i was at a student banquet yesterday.

while it is clearly not the best shot of the boys that we have, it made my heart happy to see the smile back on our little man's face.

christmas photos! because it's still winter in Ohio?

my sister emailed me yesterday to tell me i am a failure a blogging. 

or something like that. 

she didn't exactly phrase it that way. 

but, it is totally true. 

the last few months have involved lots of travel, family visits, and what feels like eternal work on our house.

to be VERY honest, i have been a scattered mess. 

as in, recently, i was heading into work, and realized i couldn't get into by building because i had left my ID in my car. 

so i went around the building the "long way" and went back out to my car. 

where I realized i had left my car keys in my office. 

that key ring? 

also has my office keys on it. 

so, let's suffice it to say that blogging has been the last thing on the radar. 

i am just trying to be successfully prepared to enter locked spaces to which i actually own keys. 

so, you know what i thought would nicely demonstrate exactly how far behind on life i am?

posting our 2012 christmas photos. 

with intermittent captions. 

because i just can't quite accomplish that much right now. 

but, katie mae, here is a small gesture toward blogging. 

love you. :)

okay.
this one requires a caption.
this is the boys coming down the stairs on christmas morning.
with my 3-year-old self photo-bombing the event.

but you could probably already tell it was christmas morning.
from the image of pure joy on anth's face. 

i no longer recall why he is doing this.
that is the perk of posting pictures 3.5 months after the event. 

this is my sister, katie.
we call her katie mae.
mae is not her middle name.
bernie started that in 2000 and it stuck.
when you harass me for blog posts, you get pictures of you in your pajamas. 

bernie loves me so much right now. 

you are welcome, katie mae. 

Iron Ben.

for years, katie has been forced to play the role of "christmas elf."
she was happy to finally relinquish this role to anthony.
he has yet to figure out that it is a questionable "honor."

katie will probably never ask me to blog again. 

nothing says "let's snuggle" quite like a saber-toothed cat.
benny continues to be obsessed. 

this blanket was a LOT larger than i expected it to be.
i read the measurements.
i just didn't really think about them. 

ben liked it as much as my mom. 

i love stockings.
that is all. 

this basically sums things up.

with grandma & grandpa welch!

so. 
there we have it folks. 
i also have several other gems from this trip. 
including my family attempting to play ring toss. 
and me wearing outfits we found from my high schools days. 
which may or may not include a "motorcycle jacket" and a handmade ren fair costume. 
i'll be sure to post those. 
in june. 

i have the best kids. ever.

ok. 
so, i'm clearly biased. 

let me explain. 
this year, anth helped bernie shop for me for valentine's day. 
they found me a series of teal office supplies covered in owls. 
i have a penchant for office supplies that is slightly unhealthy. 
and, after orange, teal is my favorite color. 
and, owls? 
well. 
i can't even begin to explain the obsession there. 
needless to say, there is an entire end-cap in Target just speaking to my heart. 
anth had a reason for each item. 
the pen case for my 483 millions pens. 
the weekly planner because i'm always trying to figure out our days. 
the note pad because it had paper and came with a pocket. 
(yes, i like pockets enough that my poor 2nd grader has noticed.)

also in the gift bag?
the movie soundtrack to Les Mis.
we saw it for our 10 year anniversary. 
since receiving this for valentine's day, i have had Les Mis in my head. 
constantly. 
bernie probably wishes he had gotten me one more office supply instead of the CD.
i've already apologized to most people around me. 

anyway. 
i've been listening to it in the car, and the boys have caught snippets of it. 
yesterday, anth was home with pink eye. 
(ew.)
and he asked me a question about one of the songs. 
so i started to explain. 
if you know the show, you know there is no quick explanation. 
for any of it. 

so?
we started at the beginning. 
before each song, i walked him through the plot leading up to that point. 
and, like the gem that he is, he just sat there and listened intently to each song. 
and asked some really good questions. 
and caught portions i didn't even think to explain. 
like, why did the "poor kids" call Marius "rich" if he was one of them? 
we both agreed that singing and telling a story at the same time is a pretty cool thing. 

we made it through Bring Him Home before we had to stop to pick up ben. 
anth made me promise that we would finish the story. 
so, that's what i mean when i say i have the best kids ever. 
i couldn't have dreamed up a kid who wanted to sit and listen to musicals with me at age 7. 
so, perhaps what i really mean is that i have the best kids for me. 

benny's short-lived role as a mommy blogger

tonight at the dinner table. . .

anth: mom! did you hear benny lying?!?
me: no?
benny: i didn't lie! i incorrected! 

how do you punish someone, while also celebrating their creativity? 

note: the boys are currently watching me write this. 
anth is leaning on the desk to my left.
benny is literally sitting behind me in the same chair, peeking over my shoulder. 
as though he can actually read. 
for the last 4 minutes, benny has been begging me to share the rest of the story. 
which i wasn't planning on doing. 

but. . . 
it's kind of their blog. 
so if he wants to offer some thoughts, who am i to stop him?

so, here is benny's big contribution:
"and then, ben tooted." 

note on the note: 
i just read this out loud to benny. 
he is upset. 
because, really, he wanted it to say, 
"and then, ben farted."

he didn't appreciated my editing. 
apparently, there is a reason i don't let a 4-year-old contribute to my blog. 
(well. at least not on purpose. . .)

earning a Blue Ribbon in Creative Failing. . .

today, i went to put my whites in the dryer. 
and they were already dry. 
because i never managed to actually put them in the wash. 

the good news?
the inside of my washing machine is sparkling clean. 

yep. 
. . . pretty much. 

anth laughed at me. 
then immediately looked concerned. 
"but, will i have clothes for tomorrow?"
i informed him that, yes, i would now run the wash with the clothes on the inside of the machine. 

he looked relieved. 
and then concerned again. 
"mom?"
"hmmm?"
"it's okay that you're a little rough around the edges."

bless his heart for coming to terms with this at so early an age.

Siri strikes again. . .

you know your day is off to a good start when the gentleman directing traffic through the Med Center stops to give you a look of concern. 
whether it was concern for his well being or mine is a tough call. 
why would he do this, you ask? 
(it's so convenient that you always ask me these questions that prompt me to enter my story.)
(thanks for that.)

the kind/frightened gentleman looked at me like this because i probably appeared to be operating a vehicle while bawling my eyes out. 
technically, i was crying. 
from laughter. 
and i was laughing so hard, that it probably did look like i was crying. 
by myself. 
in my car. 
while driving. 

either way, this probably wasn't the safest situation. 
you see, i was crying-from-laughing, because i had just attempted to use Siri to send a colleague a text. 
unfortunately, this feature is only helpful for people who slow down enough to make it work. 
i am not one of those people. 
resulting in this exchange:

yes. 
that's right. 
yesterday, i sent a colleague a text that included the word "boobs."
fortunately, Emily has worked with me for 3 years, and is equal parts friend and colleague. 
this means that she knows to expect things like this from me. 
(the poor talk-to-text part of me. NOT the otherwise inappropriate texting part.)
clearly, the best way to address this is by posting a letter to Siri. 
who is not actually a person. 
on a site that she (the not-actual-person) will never actually read. 
ahem. . .

Dear Siri, 

It seems like time for a carefrontation. 
I find it pertinent to clarify the following:

- I will never, ever, ask you to text anyone I know the word "boobs."
- I don't even actually use this word when speaking. 
- Especially not with colleagues.
- And I don't plan on starting now. 

At this point, I simply can't decide if you have a really good sense of humor, or just a bit of a mean streak. 
Because we both know you have some fascinating auto-correct capabilities as well. 
Either way, please, help me. 
I clearly can't do this on my own. 

Thanks in advance, 
Krystyne

it should be noted that, apparently, when i write letters to not-people, i bother to use proper capitalization. 
also? 
i would probably benefit from Apple adding a "read-back" feature to Siri. 
you see, i use the talk-to-text function at times i can't safely look at my phone. 
so the fact that Siri shows me a written version of my text in advance isn't helpful. 
when driving. 
just sayin'. 

the average bear would probably stop using this feature. 
apparently, i am the less-than-average bear. 
because poor Bernie was more than slightly confused when i sent him this text this morning: 

clearly, Siri, i meant "a deer tutoring."
"a day or two during our" would have been downright illogical. 

so, for now. . . 
friends, family and colleagues, please accept my apology in advance. 
because there is likely a confusing, and potentially uncomfortable, text heading your way the next time i get behind the wheel. 

loose definitions

recently, benny has decided that he is my backseat DJ.
what, you ask, is a backseat DJ?
it is a 4-year-old.
who has begs for his mother's phone.
then asks her to shut off the radio.
and then  randomly flips through the songlist to play music for all to enjoy during the car ride.

each and every time ben selects a song, he holds up the phone so that i can see it in the rear view mirror, and he asks, "do you know this one, mom?"
ben is exceptionally impressed that, to date, i have known every song.
i have tried to explain that i get to pick the music that goes into my phone.
this concept is a bit high level.
so, if my kid wants to think i have the world's highest level knowledge of music, so be it.
i tried to explain otherwise.

yesterday, benny chose a song called All I Want by Toad the Wet Sprocket.
i included a link, because if you are like some of the students i work with, you were busy being born in 1992 when this song was released.
not in high school.
ahem.

anyway, per usual,  benny asked if i knew the song.
i said yes.
he was impressed.
he then sat and listened to the music for a bit.
this is actually my favorite part of this process.
typically, after a chorus or so, he does his best to sing along.
even if it is the first time he has heard a song.
precious.
after a while, he paused the song.
"mom, what is this song about?"
i stalled for a minute, trying to think through the lyrics.
after a quick assessment, i realized i have no idea whatsoever what this song is actually about.
oops.
while i was busy realizing this, ben answered his own question.
"i think this song is about treehuggers."

sometimes it is very hard not to laugh out loud when children speak.
i have no idea where benny learned this term.
even if they were doing a lesson on the environment at child care, i can't imagine "treehugger" was part of the information shared.
so, i asked benny, "what does the word 'treehugger' mean?"

i glanced back in the rear view mirror.
benny looked up at me.
his face was the picture of disappointment.
(whether it was directed at my seemingly poor vocabulary skills, or just the fact that life gave him a mother who needed this definition, wasn't clear.)
"mom. they are the people who hug the trees."

i sometimes forget that life is so much more simple at 4.
benny then flipped to Pride (In The Name of Love) by U2.
i actually could have talked about the meaning of this one.
even tied it back to his more recent enhanced understanding of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
i was ready.
so, of course, he didn't ask.

a story from benny to you

this story recently surfaced on the wall in Benny's classroom.
i love the evolution of the plot.

it's a good thing he doesn't engage in hyperbole. . .

also.
it's sweet that he thinks 100 sabertoothed cats would wander his way and choose to eat the snow. . .
clearly a fiction writer.