bedtime and buckeyes and brains...

oh my.

at bedtime, anthony and i were engaging in our usual post-book, pre-final-tucking-in chatter.
he asked me what causes headaches.
i momentarily wished i hadn't completed a BA in English followed by a masters in College Student Personnel.
then i started down the path of a medically sketchy explanation.
it included a brief amount of rambling on about tension and different degrees of headaches, etc.

*note: i have a bit of a compulsion to know the answers to things.
i recently spent a day going through a second round of StrengthsQuest training.
i blame my incessant need to immediately Google questions such as these on high levels of Input combined with Learner in my Top 5.
if you are a goober like me, here is more on headaches.
i also found it hilarious that there is literally a site called www.whatcausesheadaches.net.

and we're back.
so, anth and i are both lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
i'm babbling about headaches.
anth sees mom is going nowhere and decides to throw me a bone/end this particular topic.
he interrupted me to ask, "so, mom...are brains just kind of my own slushy computer?"

hooray for questions we can answer with complete confidence.
yes, honey.
you have a little, smushy Mac in your noggin.

and then i told him to go find his dad.
in this video.
ok, no, i didn't.
but, way to go, hubby.

Parental Advisory

fact # 1:  i use a lot of nicknames for people.
often, they have nothing at all do to with someone's actual, given, name.
ones that i can think of off the top of my head include:

- friend
- peanut
- doll
- punk
- trouble

yes, i generally sound like i work in Mel's Diner.

fact #2: sitting on the stairs is a form of...behavior modification...in our house.
both of our boys have spent time "thinking about their choices" at the bottom of our staircase.

fact #3: our sweet benjamin has learned what it means to "tell on someone."
he routinely comes to us and reports various data regarding what anth has been up to and if he finds it suitable or not.

so...when benny walked up to me with a sense of purpose, i figured i was going to hear that "anny" had taken a toy from him, accidentally bumped into him, told him he was too young to chew gum, etc.

Benny: momma. you need'a tell anny to sit on duh staiws!
Momma: why, benja-bean? (yes, poor kid. i will stop soon.)
Benny: betause he bein' a PUNK!

ben's little honey-do list

it has been snowing here as of late. 
and the plows have not yet hit all of the residential streets. 
as a result, our neighborhood is still particularly snow-covered. 


as bern drove our little family onto our street the other night, we heard in a combined goofy-yet-bossy two-year-old voice in the back, "hey, uh, Mr. Dad...(ben waves his hand in the direction of the window with distaste)... can you clean up all that snow mess?"

hot...or not

recently, a box of Nutty Bars surfaced in our house.
and by recently, i mean my sister and her beau left them here when they visited from Kauai in September. 
anyway...anth choose to have a Nutty Bar last night as his post-dinner treat.
(i hear that some call this dessert.)
if you haven't had one before, they are pretty much wafers layered with peanut butter and dipped in chocolate.
anth can sometimes be a...deliberate...eater.
in this case, this resulted in particularly chocolatey finger-tips.

anth wandered into the restroom to wash his hands.
he asked me to turn on the water for him since he was "way too dirty to be touching our sink."
he then quickly interjected to make sure i did not make the water too hot.
(typical to their personalities, ben likes his water close to scalding and anth likes it more in the tepid range)

while i was fiddling with the water, anth asked, "mom...what does hot mean?"
focused on the water, i started to explain that it was a mater of perception, and he quickly stopped me.
"no, mom...i mean, what does it mean when someone says a girl is hot?"
at first i was tempted to explain that, in my assessment, he thinks Cat Deeley is hot.
instead, i explained that it was something one might say if they thoughts a girl was VERY pretty or a boy was VERY handsome.
(yes, i know there is tad more innuendo in this word, but come on...he's 5.)
i was trying to think of a positive example.
"you know, hon...like..."
anth sweetly suggested, "like i bet you think daddy is hot, right mom?"
"yep. i do."
anth giggles.
"and i bet daddy thinks that you're...like...warm. or, something."

thanks, sweet boy.
thanks.

"mom, i just don't get this song. i mean, whose mom wants wants to kiss santa with all that beard?"

- anth, listening to the all-christmas-music all-the-time radio station with me at bedtime.

while you can still get away with it . . .

at bedtime tonight, benny and i were reading a Winnie the Pooh Book about Friendship Day. 
i asked benny if he had a best friend. 
he sweetly responded, "i be your brest friend, momma."
normally, i might have not noticed the extra consonant thrown into this word. 
except, at that particular moment, he was unknowingly copping a feel. 

the Giving Season

while walking past the restroom that anthony was using, this is what i just overheard him saying to himself:


"oh, great. all out of toilet paper. That's. Just. Perfect."


1. yes, he said it with that exact punctuation. 
2. his daddy may have given him his looks, but i have apparently blessed him with the "gift" of sarcasm. 

"think you can remember that all the way down the stairs, mom?"

- anth, verifying that his request for a cup of water would not be forgotten on my journey to and from the first floor of our home. 


sadly, this was probably a very good move on his part. 

"Look, Mom! Someone salted ALL that grass!"

- anth, pointing out the first frost on the OSU golf course on our way into work this morning. 

almost sweet

i have a handful of taglines that i generally use when putting benny to bed at night. 
most often, these are shared just before i close his door. 
(usually after benny makes a little machine gun sound that he calls giving "all the tisses.") 


this week, benny was particularly sleepy one night. 
as i shut the door, i told him goodnight, and "i love you every minute." 


to which he returned, " 'nigh momma. i lub you. fo' a minute." 


as usual, it was sweet. 
kind of. 
now i'm just wondering when exactly these 60 seconds occurred.
or, if he's just saving them for a rainy day. 

statistically speaking...

the number one sentence currently being used in our house HAS to be, 
"no, but you can put it on your list for Santa." 


this would be reason #483 why i love christmastime. 

"Momma! Help! I SUCK!"

- should you hear this bellowed in my house, no worries. 
   benny does not have self-image issues. 
   he just can't get out of the booster seat that he strapped himself into at the kitchen table. 

"no, daddy. . . dese are too 'picy fo' you."

- benny. holding his bag of M&Ms to his chest in a death grip. while suggesting, to his father who had asked if he would share, that he was saving him from the horrible spice content in candy-coated chocolate.

"i kinda lub you."

- benny, leaning over and taking anth's hand during dinner last night. 
  it was very sweet. 
  kinda.

"daddy, come hewe! i need you to get yo damn cracko fo yo'sewf!"

- this was, in fact, benny lovingly offering to share one of his graham crackers with his father. as in, i need you to come get your graham cracker for yourself. clearly. 


...consonants are tricky.  

excuse me?

FYI...


if you happen to be sitting. 
or lying down....
and benny sidles up next to you. 
and perhaps shimmies his tush a bit. 
and then looks up at you with an impish grin. 
and says, "i can feel yo' faht!"


1. please do not be confused
2. or distubured
3. or disgusted. 


he is simply trying to "steal your spot." 
...just a heads up, really. 

"Hey, dad! Look! Those squirrels are doing the tango!"

-anth, watching Ice Age 3.
further evidence that he has been exposed to excessive amounts of So You Think You Can Dance. (just as mommy planned it...)

here, momma. i can fix it wif my hamm-o. 


-benny, requesting a hammer. to "fix" his diaper rash. 

mom...do you ever get tired of me 
teaching you new stuff all the time? 


-anth, after showing me a "little secret trick"on the game Angry Birds

good night, sweet boy.

-benny, sleepily saying goodnight...to his mother.