ernie

i have been M.I.A. for a bit. 
this last weekend, i was in Madison, Wisconsin visiting my friend kelly. 
it was a perfect mix of tourism and doing absolutely nothing. 
as in, i saw State Street and campus, and met kelly's colleagues. 
but mostly, we hung out on her couch knitting, addressing christmas cards, or eating the various appetizers we made to watch the MSU/Wisconsin game with friends. 


now i'm back. 
and tonight, while we were cooking dinner, we received a phone call. 
from one of santa's elves. 
anth had a very serious conversation with him. 
he shared his wishes, and also took a moment to stress the fact that, "actually, overall, benny is a pretty good kid."
(looking out for his little brother. precious.)
benny took the phone and panicked. 
he told the elf that he would like some more christmas decorations. 
(i am choosing not to take this as commentary on my progress so far. which can't really be called progress at all.)
this made it necessary for daddy to call back and clarify that benny would like a stuffed angry bird, a leapster, and a few other odds and ends. 


after dinner, we went up to get the boys undressed for bath time, and found a book in anth & benny's room. 
as well as an elf. 
on a shelf. 
curious. 


fortunately, the book explained everything. 
the elf is from Santa's workshop and flies home to report back to Santa each night, and will show up in a different place in our house each morning. 
the boys will have to find him in the morning. 
the basic rules are:
1. we have to name him instantly. 
2. we cannot touch the elf, lest he lose his magic. 
3. we can talk to him, but he can't talk back. 


so far tonight, the following things have occurred. 
1. benny suggested the name. . . Benny.
2. this suggestion was politely declined. 
3. benny suggested the name Ernie. 
4. anth loved it. we officially have Ernie the Elf in our house. 
5. the boys decided that, after their bath time, i would need to go in and get their underwear and pajamas, because Santa's elf would not appreciate such indiscretion. 
6. benny decided that we needed to talk quietly around the elf, because if we are too loud, he will turn into ice. he also decided that, at least for tonight, it would probably be best if mommy whispered his Christmas wishes to Ernie. 
7. anth has decided that there is no way he could really be an elf. because he's plastic. or that maybe he is a really good actor, like Woody and Buzz. or that maybe he is a spy camera for Santa.
8. ben found a permanent marker and drew in the book on the page where we wrote in the date the elf joined our family,  our family name, and the name we gave the elf. he wrote a "B" because he wanted to add that he was the one who named the elf. 
9. as i put anth to bed, he shared, "mom. i can't decide if tonight has been kind of mysterious, or just kind of creepy."
10.  and benny chimed in, "it's freaky." from under his covers. where he attempting to sleep/avoid Ernie's gaze. 


perhaps the elf should have started out in another room. 
but, well. . . we can't touch him. 
it's Santa's rule. 

mom's are SO embarassing

recently, ben has taken to giving what he calls "monkey hugs."
this involves him wrapping his arms around your neck and his legs around your torso. 
and much clinging. 
you could essentially walk around the house and go about your chores with both hands and he would be there for a significant amount of time. 


tonight, we had dinner in the oven and it was going to take a bit. 
while bern managed dinner and packing lunches, i ran the boys upstairs to give them a bath.
after, i got benny into his pajamas and was about to towel off his hair when he hopped in for a "monkey hug."
i told him he was sweet and that i loved him. 
he told me i couldn't say this. 
so, as he glued himself in place, i toweled off his hair and said, "i love you i love you i love you i love you..." 
(it was the mature thing to do.)


ben, still clinging on with one hand, unwrapped his other one to put it on my collarbone and look me in the eyes.
"stop saying that mommy. it's just awk-wood."


i have no idea who taught my 3-year-old how to properly use "awkward" in this kind of setting. 
but i imagine it is only the start of me receiving this kind of feedback from my little man. 
and so it has begun. . .

potty talk

at the daycare that both anth and benny attended, they label some of the less classy words that children learn, and then repeat, as "bathroom words."
you are only to use these "bathroom words" when describing actual bathroom functions. 
this suits bern and i just fine, so we apply this rule at home as well. 


tonight, ben won the coveted spot of "boy who gets to get out of the tub first."
he did this by letting me wash his hair first. 
on his way out of the tub, anth made a random comment about my system not being fair. 
ben turned to anth and responded, "and you are a poopie."


i turned ben to face me, and reminded him that "bathroom words" were not acceptable, and should especially not be used when talking to your friends and family. 
ben looked absolutely befuddled. 
"but, mommy! i said 'poopie' in dah bathroom!" 


up for a challenge? 
try explaining to a pre-schooler that "bathroom words" are about intention, rather than exact geographical location. 
it's a good time. 

at least he's hydrated...?

tonight during bath time, benny kept trying to drink the water as we filled the tub.
watching the production involved in this effort, i offered to get him a cup of water.
he declined.
i shared that i thought he could get a LOT more water if he let me get him a cup.
he looked at me like i had three heads.
then he pointed to the water he was sitting in.
"but mommy, i think this water maybe taste wike booty."


i mean, i can totally see his point.
and i could have attempted to remind him we had other sources of water in our home.
but it just seemed like a good point to end this particular conversation.


carry on, little man.
drink up.

the world is my sippy cup

i have been a festival of various cooties for the last few days. 
so tonight you get a post that i tucked away a few weeks ago...


as many of our stories do, this one involves bathtime.

it was a night when i decided to bathe the boys at different times, and it was benny's turn.
i was done washing ben, and he was just playing in the tub at this point.
anth had come into the bathroom to ask me a question.
i was trying to focus on anthony.
but, out of the corner of my eye, i noticed that the shower curtain was slowly moving.

i stopped to look at benny.
he was impishly smiling at me while slowly trying to pull the shower curtain closed.
i asked him what he was doing.
"i need some pwivacy."

i then inquired as to what, exactly, a 2-year-old needed privacy for in the tub.
"so i can dwink my diwty baf water and you don't tell me to stop it!"

that, friends, is my boy.
making momma proud.

poor prior planning...

benjamin has recently developed a new way to enjoy bathtime.
at the end, after the general dirt-removal and hair-washing routine has been completed, he likes to lay down on his stomach and push off of one end of the tub toward the other end.

to him, this is a VERY exciting and fulfilling use of his time.
kind of makes you wish you were 2 again, doesn't it?

anyway, as he was doing this tonight, anth and i were discussing the fact that it is time for him to start swim lessons soon.
anth glanced over at ben, observed him, and said in his best encouraging-big-brother voice, "benny, you look like you're swimming!"

super supportive, right?

NOPE.

ben takes in this information and shoots back a giant grin.
then, he quickly looks down at himself and back at us.
his face?
horrified.
"oh no, mommy! you wet me be swimming wifout my swim suit!"

the kid was completely embarrased.
after mucking around naked in the tub for the last 20 minutes.

sorry, benny,
my bad.

the realities of reality TV

so...with bern in classes over the last few years, i have picked up a ridiculous amount of shows that i enjoy.

like...
comedy: modern family, community, GLEE
drama: house, grey's, make it or break it, the event, parenthood, life unexpected, pretty little liars (if ER, Gilmore Girls or Ally McBeal were still on they would be here, too.)
reality: aside from the biggest loser, my weakness is performance/talent based shows...So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, Top Chef, American Idol...
other: jeopardy. (and NBC nightly news when bern is home...)

clearly, i can't physically watch all of this in any given week.
thankfully DVR let's me decide what shows are actually critical, but yes i do tape them all.

this is relevant.
kind of.
just stay with me.

so...bathtime last night.
anth tends to go from 0 to 60 on deciding it is time to get out of the tub.
last night, i was trying to shove a still-slightly-damp ben into his winter pajamas when anth suddenly declared he was ready to get out of the bath.

my feet had been chilly so i had grabbed a pair of socks earlier.
i realized i was still holding them and that they don't do much for improving the warmth of my feet until they are properly applied.
so, as i stood in the doorway of the bathroom, i told anth, "hold on, i just have to do this really quick."
as i started to apply said socks to my person, anth literally sounded like a balloon leaking air as he let out a long, dramatic, "oh noooooooo."

the kid is born for the stage, i tell you.
laughing, i told him, "anth, i'm putting on my socks, not writing the next great american novel."
in the time it took both of these sentences to happen, i was already at the side of his tub.
anth said ok and we went about toweling him off and getting him outfitted for bedtime.

later, anth asked, "hey mom...why are you writing a book about American Idol?"

tragic, i tell you.

he knows if you've been bad or good . . .

the wiggle-in-the-tub-so-mommy-can't-wash-me stage is still alive and well in the savarese abode. 
and benny, a little man dedicated to his little causes, put up another good fight tonight at bath time. 
after some deft maneuvering on my part, i managed to grab hold of one of his wiggly little feet and give it a good scrub. 
at this point, he was laying on his stomach in the water and he shot me a look over his shoulder and informed me, "mommy you makin' me SO fwus-toh-wated!"
then he sat up, seemingly just for the purpose of looking me straight in the eye, and informed me in his most stern of 2-year-old voices, "and Santa is watchin' you." 


(Santa, if you really were watching me at that particular moment, i'm kind of  hoping you're on my side about the whole intentionally applied soap thing.)

on my way to where the air is sweet

today, all three of my boys and i went to see Sesame Street Live.
this was one of those lovely full-circle moments for me, as i recall my mom taking me to the same show, with my friend Julie and her mom, when i was anthony's age. 
in the end, i'm fairly certain that anth was most excited about the popcorn, and ben the pizza. 
the other highlight was watching a stray Elmo balloon make its way to the ceiling of the arena.
but hey...it was naptime. 
we weren't expecting too much energy from them at 2pm. 


earlier in the day, i was getting the boys through the bath time routine so they would be all fresh and shiny for the show. 
recently, benny has found it to be absolutely hilarious to maneuver himself in the tub so that i can't possibly get him into any state of clean. 
especially not with soap. 
but, call me crazy, i actually like the idea of soap. 
if i just wanted to get the kid wet, i have a perfectly good hose in the yard. 


as i was watching the clock so we would be on time, i finally told him, "ben, you HAVE to stand up so i can wash your buns. Big Bird does not want you to come see him with dirty buns."
ben shot up out of the water and let me give him a good scrub. 
with soap and everything. 
satisfied that he was actually a respectably clean version of my child, i told him that he could sit down and rinse off. 
he kept standing there for a moment. 
then, in an unusual state of calm for ben, he tilted his head and asked me in a whisper, "momma...why do Big Bird wanna see my boddom?"


um, oops. 
not exactly the point i had been trying to make. 
needless to say, it took me a minute to clarify Big Bird's intentions...

there's pee-pee in my closet

tonight was an entertaining night for me.
as usual, this one requires a little bit of background information...


1. i love music.
2. i especially adore musical theatre. 
3. i am also easily music-impressionable. 
4. i.e., one has to simply mention a song title and it's in my head all day. 
5. really, all you have to do is mention a phrase that is a lyric in a song and it's over for me. 
6. this weekend, a colleague mentioned the musical Chess in a post on Facebook.
7. as a result, i was compelled to listen to it. repeatedly.
8. because of my schedule this week, this has mostly happened in the car with my boys. 
9. and, if i'm being honest, because the show was written in the 80's it sounds very...80's. 
10. so i tend to skip around to the songs that i really love. 
11. one of these is Heaven Help My Heart. 
12. which brings me to the string of events that this song put into play tonight...


as i was getting the boys ready for bath time, anth stated "hey, mom...i think that maybe it's not really best to love a stranger. i mean, sometimes they can be dangerous. and sneaky. strangers are sneaky."
as a concerned parent taking this statement out of context, i asked some questions to follow-up. 
i eventually realized that he was referring to lyrics toward the end of the song. 
(no idea what song i'm talking about? thought so. below is a treat of a version by Idina Menzel.) 


Idina Menzel - Heaven Help My Heart


we were discussing the merits of anthony's statement when benny, naked, dashed off into my closet. 
i chased him into said closet, and while in there, distracted myself by picking out an outfit for tomorrow. 
until i suddenly felt a warm sensation on my foot. 
where benny had peed. 
festive. 
so, twenty minutes later i have a clean foot and two clean boys and anthony asked me another question about the song. so i brought it up on my phone and the boys were listening to it. 

bless my sweet boys who are this willing to listen to mommy's musical whims

as they were watching the video, ben's brow became increasingly furrowed. 

he eventually looked up and me and sad, "mommy, dis person so sad."

i asked him why he thought she was so sad. 

to which my sweet boy responded in complete seriousness, "betause i pee-pee on your feet, mommy?"

all of this from a stray Facebook post...