voice fail

so...my friend kelly, who has been mentioned on this blog more than once, uses Google Voice.
it's a pretty festive service, and includes a feature called "voicemail transcription."
this service generates a text message so you can get a quick, readable, version of your voicemails. 
this is a very useful service if the person leaving the message leaves it in a coherent, transcribable fashion.
which, apparently, i don't.

now, i own the fact that i sometimes leave rambling voicemails.
i also, as you will see below, tend to forget what i meant to leave a voicemail about... and stall via dragging out words and throwing out random facts.
i.e., voice mails from me are a real treat.
but this particular one was compounded by the fact that my supervisor and i had a 3pm meeting over coffee, and i was calling kelly on my drive home.
so the speech on this particular message was in overdrive.

i was trying to call and touch base after both of us had failed to make our phone date happen on the previous sunday.
mainly because i was distracted by cleaning the house and washing 5 loads of laundry.
the sunday phone date was scheduled because the one we tried on saturday dropped FIVE times.
this happens to us regularly if we decide to move anything while on our phones in our houses.
including our mouths.
so much so, that we have developed a "who should call the other person back" system.

so, as i left my message post-coffee, here is what google heard and delivered to kelly via text:

"Hey, I'm not saying for Effective Decision from Christine, Thank you for the very few cars, hey cubes state. Hello was calling for defrays you wanted to let you know what it was, but I have to dial by Barry the final. Ohh much failure and then i go home properties guessed it kind of trying to follow the laundry that I watch, and then failed. So. Love from all this. Every back. Maddy."

here is what i actually said:

"Dear Buttface, this is your friend krystyne. thank you for the very cute card. you are cute. um, heyyyyy..., hellooooo... i was calling for a different reason, too,... and i totally can't remember what it was. but, happy valentine's dayyyy. we fail. so much failure. and now i'm going to go hooooome. and then i'm going to wrap bern's giiiiifts. and then fold all the laundry that i waaaaashed. and then, hey....(kids in background, saying "happy valentine's day, kelly")....so, love from all the savaresi. bye lady."

lessons learned from this.
1. both versions of my message are equally useless.
2. you should sign up for Google Voice. if not for info, for the entertainment value.
3. yes, i called my dear friend a buttface.
4. it's what happens when you move off to wisconsin.