July 6, 2011

put a cork on it

so, you can totally think i'm a hot mess for saying this.
but i really need you to read the title of this post to the tune of beyonce's Single Ladies (put a ring on it.)
because life is far too serious.
so, why not?
my boys would tell you that i regularly rewrite songs such as this.
right now they would tell you that is it moderately to very nerdy of me.
if i'm still doing it in a few years, they will avoid me altogether in public settings.

my good friend kelly came into town last weekend to celebrate her birthday on July 3rd.
she was here for 5 days.
overall, it was a wonderful time.
except for the fact that it highlighted how much of a not-so-very-exciting-person i've become.
there were a few key things that really illustrated this point for me.
they include, but are not limited to, the following:

1. i was tired each night by 10pm.
2. seriously. twice i started to nod off on the couch while kelly and bernie were still talking.
3. we hit the mall on saturday for 5 straight hours and it just about killed me.
4. as in, when i got out of bed the next morning, the pads of my feet hurt.
5. kelly helped me catch up on what i've been missing.
6. by that, i mean, she helped me catch up on the 4 episodes of The Voice i had not yet watched.
7. and, finally, in a true testament to "i give up," we spent her last full day here crafting.

i mean.
i love to craft.
i always have.
but, given a full day off and endless options of what to do (i mean, aside from the fact that we are totally land-locked and it was far too hot outside...), we chose to get crafty.
kelly and her friend call this "Girls Gone Mild."
well. i was in junior high in 1989. 
and i loved hair bands. specifically Sebastian Bach of Skid Row. 
(and Poison's Bret Michaels. but that's an entirely different post.)
so, for me, "Youth Gone Mild" would be more appropriate.
whatever you call it, i devoted my day to gluing things together.

for the last...i don't know...2.5 years...i have been collecting wine corks.
sadly, i can't even say that i have been collecting my own.
for the most part, i have been collecting from other people.
like kelly, i wanted to assemble a wine cork wreath.
(yes. again. big ambitions.)

this was actually a bigger project than i had planned.
here is what i learned yesterday:

1.) some people have favorite brands. :)

2.) some are much more willing to test the waters. (and by waters, i mean wine. clearly.)

3.) the wine industry's shift to these cork-free corks makes for a boring looking wreath. only use these on the first layer.

4.) just because the picture online of the pretty little wreath with bells worked out perfectly, it does not mean that you (AKA, i) have the skill set to emulate it at home. note the extreme lack of bell in between two of these corks.

5.) you should never, ever, leave your camera unattended on the coffee table while intensely focused on your glue. because you might end up with a picture like this. because the photographer finds it hilarious to take a photo of her happy, sitting-on-the-couch, relaxed feet with you working away in the background. and, because when you realize this, you will probably look up at her to glare. maybe call her a buttface. and, most definitely, squirt very hot glue onto your finger. i mean...just maybe.

6.) but, in the end, you will not only get one very tender/concerningly numb finger...but also one of these. which i find to be rather fun. (though i am still curious what wine caused the purple on the bottom right there.)

7.) warning: if you choose to sit on the floor and lean over said project for, perhaps, 5 hours, you might stand up and say a particular letter. highlighted on a particular cork here. again. just maybe.

overall, aside from the fact that it makes me a goober, i am pretty darn proud of this wreath.
and i wanted to say thanks to all of the people who so diligently imbibed so that i could make this.
on my day off.
be jealous. 


  1. What a fun day and trip that was. Over way too soon. Also? GREAT photos! I am gonna need to start saving for a fun camera . . .

  2. um. i need this. i will happily take a wine cork wreath as payment for holiday pictures :)

  3. p - drink up and save me some corks! The more I get the faster I can make one!