August 1, 2012

a spoiler-free open letter to NBC

dear NBC,

i am so tired that i can no longer see straight.
i am choosing to blame this (partially) on you.
you see, i have already shared with my 13 blog readers that i am a hot freaking mess.
it's true.
just recently i have added a few more special contributions to my collection of notably impressive life moments.
these have included:

Moment 1:
in which i grab a poorly closed package of twizzlers off our kitchen counter.
then listen to bernie say, "those are way too hard to eat anymore. gross. throw those out."
then immediately choose to pop one in my mouth.
then promptly choke on said Twizzler.

Moment 2:
in which i have so many travel coffee mugs on my desk at work, as a result of never remembering to take them home at the end of the day, that i drink from a particularly old cup.
with particularly old creamer.
and have to run down a particularly long hallway to rinse out my mouth.

Moment 3:
here we visit the moment when krystyne, while cleaning the tub in the master bathroom, somehow manages to turn on the shower.
so that it douses her with water.
in the face.

Moment 4:
this was the time when i acknowledged that it is much faster for me to simply click the "forgot your password?" button and follow the prompts than to actually try to remember my password.
to anything.
on earth.

Moment 5:
this gem was from this afternoon.
when, after laughing at the ridiculousness of a news segment last night that reported on the uptick in emergency room admits due to people walking while texting, i chose to walk while texting.
and found myself trying to key into a van in the parking lot.
note: i drive a Golf.

if i could use an spoiler-free Olympics analogy to summarize my current state of being,
i feel a little bit like this:

. . . without the mat.

but, NBC, i digress.
the fact of the matter is, i am already my own walking version of organized chaos.
i don't need your help.
but i can't help but think you are playing a joke on me, and anyone else who loves the Olympics.
you see, the choice to make this a "digital olympics" has resulted in the need to stay up until midnight, or later depending on your love of post-success-interviews.
every day.
for two straight weeks.
now, usually, i'm a bit of a night owl.
but, sheesh.
i think we need medals for those folks who were able to stay awake to watch all of this.

i wonder if you might explore the nuance of forcing millions of viewers to sit on their couch for 4 straight hours, every night, for two weeks, in order to watch amazing acts of athleticism.
i mean, i guess i could stand. . .
in my living room.

so, NBC, i am sleepy.
and going through a lot of eye cream.
and likely making much less sense than usual.
which is frightening.
but, i love the Olympics far too much to make healthy choices about sleep.
as a result, NBC, we are currently not FRIENDS.
you have not been there for me. .
(sorry. couldn't help it.)
fortunately, you have 4 years to figure this out.


NBC, this is not your fault at all.
but, last night, i pondered the fact that Nadia was my gymnastics hero as a child.
she recieved her famous perfect 10 when i was 1.
watching the women's team competition last night, i realized that kerri strugg, who earned her gold while i was in college, is as "old" to some of the members of the current team as Nadia seemed to me.
holy moly.

to my Olympics-loving peers. . . yay!
while i tease about sleepiness, i hope you are enjoying all of the Olympic-fever as much as i am.
and the many, tear-inducing, Olympics-inspired commercials.
so precious.
happy watching!

1 comment:

  1. You realize that most of the members of the women's gymnastics team were not even born in 1996 when the USA won team gold last.

    The fact that you love Nadia is just one more proof point that we are siblings separated at birth!

    As I was reaching for my mouse to hit "publish" I instead grabbed a banana.