when the USA wins, we all win

at least according to ben.
who ran around the living room yelling "i get a medal!"
. . . shortly after anthony screamed "we just got a medal!" while i was making popcorn in the kitchen.

one of ben's classroom TAs shared this picture with me today.
it looks a lot like ben finding out that the US team didn't actually earn him a medal.
just picture my living room in the background.

note: this TA is a gem and does not normally stand around taking pictures of ben crying.
i promise.
his teachers set up long jump markers on the floor today and were letting the kids jump and mark their distance with masking tape.
according to ben, this is a picture of "me being fwustwated because i jumped a 2 and i usually jump a 3."
perhaps i got him a little too excited about the olympics. . .

a spoiler-free open letter to NBC

dear NBC,

i am so tired that i can no longer see straight.
i am choosing to blame this (partially) on you.
you see, i have already shared with my 13 blog readers that i am a hot freaking mess.
it's true.
just recently i have added a few more special contributions to my collection of notably impressive life moments.
these have included:

Moment 1:
in which i grab a poorly closed package of twizzlers off our kitchen counter.
then listen to bernie say, "those are way too hard to eat anymore. gross. throw those out."
then immediately choose to pop one in my mouth.
then promptly choke on said Twizzler.

Moment 2:
in which i have so many travel coffee mugs on my desk at work, as a result of never remembering to take them home at the end of the day, that i drink from a particularly old cup.
with particularly old creamer.
and have to run down a particularly long hallway to rinse out my mouth.

Moment 3:
here we visit the moment when krystyne, while cleaning the tub in the master bathroom, somehow manages to turn on the shower.
so that it douses her with water.
in the face.

Moment 4:
this was the time when i acknowledged that it is much faster for me to simply click the "forgot your password?" button and follow the prompts than to actually try to remember my password.
to anything.
ever.
on earth.

Moment 5:
this gem was from this afternoon.
when, after laughing at the ridiculousness of a news segment last night that reported on the uptick in emergency room admits due to people walking while texting, i chose to walk while texting.
and found myself trying to key into a van in the parking lot.
note: i drive a Golf.

if i could use an spoiler-free Olympics analogy to summarize my current state of being,
i feel a little bit like this:

. . . without the mat.

but, NBC, i digress.
the fact of the matter is, i am already my own walking version of organized chaos.
i don't need your help.
but i can't help but think you are playing a joke on me, and anyone else who loves the Olympics.
you see, the choice to make this a "digital olympics" has resulted in the need to stay up until midnight, or later depending on your love of post-success-interviews.
every day.
for two straight weeks.
now, usually, i'm a bit of a night owl.
but, sheesh.
i think we need medals for those folks who were able to stay awake to watch all of this.

also?
i wonder if you might explore the nuance of forcing millions of viewers to sit on their couch for 4 straight hours, every night, for two weeks, in order to watch amazing acts of athleticism.
i mean, i guess i could stand. . .
in my living room.

so, NBC, i am sleepy.
and going through a lot of eye cream.
and likely making much less sense than usual.
which is frightening.
but, i love the Olympics far too much to make healthy choices about sleep.
as a result, NBC, we are currently not FRIENDS.
you have not been there for me. .
(sorry. couldn't help it.)
fortunately, you have 4 years to figure this out.

love,
krystyne

p.s.
NBC, this is not your fault at all.
but, last night, i pondered the fact that Nadia was my gymnastics hero as a child.
she recieved her famous perfect 10 when i was 1.
watching the women's team competition last night, i realized that kerri strugg, who earned her gold while i was in college, is as "old" to some of the members of the current team as Nadia seemed to me.
holy moly.

to my Olympics-loving peers. . . yay!
while i tease about sleepiness, i hope you are enjoying all of the Olympic-fever as much as i am.
and the many, tear-inducing, Olympics-inspired commercials.
so precious.
happy watching!

fail photo 60: SO EXCITED!

okay, first off, remember when i used to regularly post tragic photos on fridays?
and call it Fail Photo Friday?
yep. i kind of do, too.
oops.
partly, i haven't been doing this because the kids are getting older and i'm trying not to be terribly insensitive.
but, also, i haven't really been uploading pictures all that often.
or, even, remembering to bring my camera with me when i go somewhere.
as in, i literally have TWO PICTURE'S of anth's entire 1st grade baseball season.
both taken on my phone.
one of them does not actually include anthony.
but, that is for another post...

anyway.
yesterday, i remembered that our favorite photographer, Priscilla, was kind enough to send us some of the less-than-awesome moments from our photo shoot last fall.
july seems like a great time to roll these out.
right?
right.
and, i am owning in advance that i will likely be really bad at posting between now and August 12th.
becuase the Olypmics start tonight!
yay!
so, if i can even muster up minimal attention to posting, you will be getting a series of the "fail photos" from last year's family photo shoot.
but i make no promises.
once again, my numbering of these leaves much to be desired.
seeing as there were two "55s" when i searched "fail photos" on my own blog, i decided, let's round up again.

i am really excited for the Olympics.
the last time they were on i had a 3-year-old and a 4-month-old.
so, let's be real, it's kind of been 8 years since i really remember watching them.
so far, this has been the prep list:

• watch gymnastics trials with boys.  check
• delete all unneccessary items in the DVR. check
• set up DVR to record the opening ceremonies. check
• upload NBC Olympics app to all iDevices. check
• actually read the Martha Stewart Craft of the Day email, that i usually delete before reading, because who has time for this stuff?, titled"Olympics Viewing Party Ideas." check
• forward email to friend Kyle who is also obsessively prepping for Olympics. check
• confirm that i don't have time for this stuff, and promptly delete email.  check
• enter entire men's and women's gymnastics schedule in Outlook. check
• realize that the women's uneven bars event conflicts with the Welcome Session for Resident Advisor Training. check
• briefly catch myself thinking, "but training happens every year. . ." check
• buy Superbowlesque snacks for Opening Ceremonies. check
• see a Groupon for gymnastics classes and immediately sign up benny for fall classes. check
• immediately listen to ben complain about this decision. check
• follow that up with listening to anth address the fact that he wants in on the gymnastics lessons. check
• love anth even more than i had one minute prior to that chat. check
• decide to worry about who goes to said classes later. check
• become nostalgic about the 1984 movie "Nadia" that my parents taped onto VHS and i watched ALL THE TIME. check
• search Amazon for said movie to see if it was available for purchase. check
• find this:



• immediately close Amazon. check
• make a mental note to ask mom if she still has the VHS. check
• realize i should probably go to bed. check.

so.
yes.
i'm excited.
kind of like this:

see you in two weeks...

benny mcFerrin

want to know what, ironically, does not make me happy?
benny singing Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry Be Happy on repeat for an hour in Target.
loudly.
with an emphasis on the high-pitched "doo-doo-doos."

funny how that works.

he's got the moves like...

well.

the moves aren't exactly like Jagger's.

but benny definitely has some "new moves" these days.

in the last few weeks, ben has also developed an interest in watching So You Think You Can Dance along with Anth.

and, recently, much to my heart's sheer joy, he was watching the gymnastics trials along with the rest of us.

for the last few nights, this has resulted in a fun new evening routine:

1. bath time.

2. reading. and then,

3. dance party.

the dance party involves me/bern/anth sitting in the boys' room, and playing a song from our phone.

and then sitting back and enjoying watching benny put on a show.

his current version of dancing usually involves running in a circle around the room, spinning mid air, slightly falling on the landing, and doing his best to make it look like an intentional on-the-ground-spin.

(perhaps i should reconsider if this is the best timing for a high-energy activity in the night time routine...)

i would say that it is hilarious.

which it kind of is.

but, at the heart of it, it is absolutely precious.

he absolutely beams when he is done with his performance and is quite proud of himself.

love. love. love.

on the way in to work last week, he told me we need to watch more dance shows so he "can study more new moves."

clearly, i need to get him into a class.

(local people with suggestions, i'm all ears.)

sadly, i tried to take video last night, but i have so many pictures on my phone that i couldn't record.

oops.

but, i did find a few fun pictures to share in the meantime while i get myself together.

recently, ben was playing with some modeling clay.

together, we made a dragon.

ish.

here he is:

i sat down on the other side of the kitchen table, and told him i wanted to get another picture of what he could do.

at which point he did this:

perhaps i should be more clear as to which skill set i am trying to demonstrate when taking photos of him.

because here he is again, showing me what "he can do" on a bike:

clearly, this picture is mainly about his cycling abilities..

i will work to get video of an upcoming performance.

watch out, Nigel...

before they lived on top of our fridge. . .

the boys had lightsabers they were in love with.

actually, they are still in love with their lightsabers.

they are also in love with battling, intensely, with said sabers.

but, because bernie and i are more in love with our sons. . . and their faces. . . the lightsabers have been living on top of our fridge for the last month or so.

along with a Thor hammer and a Captain America shield.

they have come down a few times with the warning that they need to be "used nicely."

they have, each time, quickly landed back on the fridge.

tonight, we started the first day of Senior Staff training for our full-time and graduate level staff.

this is absolutely nutty to me, as we are usually doing this later in August, but the change from quarters to semesters at Ohio State is squishing our summer.

anyway, i've been working to catch up and try to prep for the week ahead tonight, and needed a brief distraction.

so, i opened up the old list of drafts and found this old post that i apparently never used.

all it has is a bunch of pictures of the boys messing around in the dark with their weapons of choice.

check out anthony.

the kid is intense.

yep.

that's all i'm good for tonight.

may the force be with you.

benny's big ambitions

remember that time. . .
on tuesday night. . .
when your partner decided to work late. . .
and you realized you had nothing respectable enough in your fridge to serve to your children and label as "dinner". . .
so you ran the boys into Kroger to grab some essentials. . .
and then you shuffled them to the self-check-out station. . .
which you used impressively quickly. . .
and then you couldn't leave. . .
because your youngest child was practically sitting on the ground. . .
with both his arms and legs wrapped around a pole next to the check out. . .
and he was wiggling and protesting loudly. . .
by shouting, "but i don't wanna go yet! i'm dancing' on this pole!"
and you were feeling like the Parent of The Year nomination committee would be really impressed? 


no? 
you don't remember that?
of course you don't. 
because it was me. 
and ben. 
doing our best to keep the folks behind us in line entertained at 6:17 on a Tuesday night. 


Dear patrons of the Dublin Kroger, 


you. 
are.
welcome.
i hope that my family and i made you feel slightly better about your day.


love, 
krystyne


this post was brought to you by Arlene Guess, former resident of Baker Hall West. 
not because pole-dancing makes me think of her. 
but because she lovingly reminded me, via Facebook, that i once again am way behind on blogging.